I think I shall be a blackfish biologist... or marinologist? Simplified: blackfish scientist. Because, these fish my dears, are extrodinary creatures. Gold fish are stereotypical hardy fish. A self-proclaimed children's fish because they can withstand the most extreme of situations as a pet. And I laugh at that- because obviously gold fish have never met a blackfish. Perhaps they are not a bright orange, but they are spotted with beautiful bits of tan and brown. And these fish are talented little ones. Like gold fish, they can breathe air. Except these fish can breathe air in the midst of -20 degrees. They eat fish, larva, anything really. And they're friendly little things. They come right up to my finger in the water and meet it with a gentle little nip. And they're much cuter than gold fish. Much hardier as well. A kid could take it out of water and play with it for a few minutes- set it back in the tank- and let it live another two years. How do I know? Well, I'm that kid of course. An adult child with a near future in blackfish expertise.
Spotted Fish Children
My darling has a lot of patience with me. For although I have the maturity and hobbies of a fifty year old woman, I often tend to drift into childish acts of spontaneity. Included of which- is buying an aquarium in the hopes of collecting a few little blackfish friends. Alaskan blackfish. Lovable little creatures with supernatural abilities. My darling got me six tiny ones and two big ones. And then I ventured out with him to the trap to collect some water plants. And we put them all in my aquarium along with some large river rocks I had collected from the Yukon during the summer. But I couldn't stop there, upon recieving my early Christmas gifts I ordered lots of food. All kinds. Bloodworms and fly larva and bottomfeeder food and mosquitos. Spoiled little fishies. My childish actions have the hint of motherhood within. For a teenage girl, I suppose it's best I pass on my parenting abilities to a something that requires a bit less responsibility than a child. Blackfish will suffice for now. They're cute and loveable just the same.
Lady Moose
Today as my darling and I took a ride through the willows across the river we met three friendly faces. Women, of course, for they tend to be drawn to me. When I'm... having that womanly time of the month, other womanly creatures tend to drift to me. So as we weaved in and out of the thick tree paths we caught sight of the first pretty lady. She stood about five yards away hidden into the taller trees. Oh, and she was a moose. Quite a lovely little animal, if you ask me. Not so little- but yet amongst her large size- still timid and of a kind aura. And then as we exited the trees and hit ourselves into a frozen slough we noticed two more lovely little faces. Also moose. A mother and a daughter. The mother frolicked away. The daughter stumbled along into the deep snow. She fell once. I wanted to run up and hug her and comfort her. 'I'm not a wolf'- I wanted to say. But they wouldn't understand my human words. I hope they felt my human heart. For I truly adore them, all three. My magnificant little ladies, running through the trees with me.
Happiness Again
Happiness is escaping my soul once more! I had a bit of a downfall, a pitiful time of lonesome unanswered questions. It was one of those moments when the darkness of winter is all consuming. The weather either too cold or too wet to wonder around. My heart ached so badly to wonder the land. And then it drifted into a place of secret. It was no longerer an adventurer, but rather a hider- hiding away like the one who knows no adventure at all. I was sad, yes. I go through the phases sometimes. Don't we all? A few weeks of unknown morning and self-pity. I was most certainly enveloped in myself. A place no good heart should ever be. Such a location causes greed and lost dreams. So here I am again- hoping for others the same light I found at the end of my tunnel. I love the snow, the dark days, and the blizzard winds. How could I ever let them draw me to a place of silent selfish residence? Never again. This is my favorite season. I shant let it bring me down.
Unmotivated Times
I am in a quiet mode, not motivated for much at all. I've spent a lot of time doing nothing lately. It's not so much a terrible time, but quite uneventful. I like silence- alone time- thinking time. In the cold darkness of winter I often find myself consumed with my own thoughts. The hardest part amongst the absence of sunlight is keeping a good emotion. I tend to fall into cabin fever. So at this point in time much motivation has left me. I'm trying hard to keep my head high. Winter is my favorite time, I hate to think it's causing my littlest bits of sadness.
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