Easter Morning Walk

This morning the Easter Bunny came. She was tired eyed and still in her pajamas. First thing in the morning, she latched on her basket and ran around the village- throwing out eggs for the children to find. Many kids out here get boiled eggs- not plastic toy-filled ones. The families cannot afford to give their kids the 'luxuries' of 'richer societies'. Knowing this, I couldn't help myself and secretly snuck out to throw lots of plastic filled eggs around my small town. There were ones filled with toy soldiers, others with bracelets, some with coins, and all with candy. It was the perfect way to spend an Easter dawn. And the silent giggles of small children running outside with their baskets soon after was well-worth the early morning stroll.

Stars Of Tiny Halos

I recently recieved the hardest news I've heard in quite some time. I love the children of this village with a heart deeper than the deapths of the seas. I adore each and every one of them just as much as their aunt would. And recently, a very young child, passed away. It was a sudden and heartbreaking passing. And I am left in shambles. I don't know how to mourn the loss of a child, but I've heard when a tiny angel goes to heaven it wears the brightest halo- so bright that it becomes a star. And all I can think is how beautiful the Alaskan sky is, and how perfect this little boy will fit in it. I cannot say anything to ease the burden that has been placed upon the family that lost this child. There are no words that can cure such a sorrow. But I am overcome with heart ache for them, and am sending the deepest deepest love their way. Rest in peace Francis Aguchak. Rest in peace, little star angel.

Sunshine Company

The sunshine is radiating the white landscape. And I'm caught up in the glow. There's a blanket in my yard where I sit with Coho and merely soak in the bright yellow ball above me. It enlightens me in so many ways. A dark winter causes quite the longing for a summertime hug of the sunshine. And now that my dear bright friend is coming out to play for twelve hours a day- I am more than eager to sit in it's company.

Too Soon For Summertime Skirts

The bright sun easily tricks the mind into thinking the weather beyond the cabin requires no more than an autumn sweater. But we are so mistaken. The bright bright landscape now offers up a beautiful dose of Vitamin D, but if you're not careful it will also bless you with a stinging tinge of frost bite. I, am one of the not-careful ones. And my haphazard thinking has left me with some very red marks on my very white skin. I should know by now to be careful. Spring in the arctic can easily fool a newcomber. And just because the sunshine is whispering an oh-so-welcome "hello" does not mean that my summertime skirts are ready to be pulled from their closet shelves.

Stalking Timidly

And there I sat, twitching my fingertips against the split ends of my tangled blond hair. Make-up on, wearing a dress as clean as a monday morning. I tried so hard to cross his path, but the world was sending me the message merely to look- but don't touch. I can admire, but I can't feel. I pressed my eyes into my window pane last night and let the streetlights be his spotlight as he walked by. But I couldn't leave the front door and walk with him.

I'm a quiet dreamer. I was last evening, I still am this morning. I got myself pretty, timidly walked outside for a moment- hoping by some weird timing of fate he'd walk out too. But he didn't, and I shyed away back inside. And then let my breath fog up the cold glass as I sat waiting for him to drop a cigarette of the edge of his porch. He did, and I watched. It's sounds... sad. And it is. But with each breath I took I hoped that by some source of the wind, he would inhale what I exhaled and maybe hear the secrets I whispered from afar...

Motherhood Season

I'm flattered by everyone lately. Playing flirtatiously with any creature that crosses my path. I took many many walks today. I didn't venture very far. Just took Coho on a small jaunt a few steps away from the home. I'll be honest, I did so in the hope that people might drive by and admire me. I've been craving attention. The sunshine is spoiling me and now I expect humans to do the same thing. It's the season of breeding and every time around this year my motherhood instincts come calling. Is it just me or does every little native boy that crosses my path look absolutely bedroom worthy?

Spring Time Confidence

I went to the local store today- I visit it often, but I'm never quite as confident as I was today. Since I have decided to start leaving the house more frequently I seem more apt to actually make eye contact with people rather than avoid them. And today I made particurally deep eye contact with two men at the store. I haven't felt beautiful in a long time. I haven't flirted in an eternity. And just to have a guy say 'hey' and another one smile was enough to pull me headfirst into a world of flattery. I loved every minute of it. I felt very... happy. I know it sounds ridiculous- that a girl could be happy out of random guy's attention. And it makes me sound a bit immature. But dear the eye contact of a soul who seemed remotely interested in a kiss was oh so welcome after this long winter.

Chopping Ice

I went to the net today, down on the river. Even though the sun was out, once I reached the frozen water's edge the wind picked up the snow and made a hazy fog. The sun shown through, but not nearly enough to warm me. Because I have been inside this winter, the chill froze me to the core. We checked the net quickly, pulling out a whitefish, and running back home. I used to love such activities and although I wanted to find enjoyment in it- I found more entertainment out of daydreaming while chopping ice.

Tomorrow

The last time I posted was January 25th. It is now March 11th. I regret to admit that this winter has been a very uneventful one. I have confined myself to inward of my cabin walls. I do not know why. Perhaps I lack motivation. Perhaps I am preconsumed with thoughts and dreams. Or perhaps the call of the wild is going unheard. But tomorrow I vow to finally leave the house. Blizzard or sunshine. Wet snow or ice. I shall put on my mukluks and find the inspiration to begin writing the tales of my life once again.