Ugh, I lied. I don't know what I want. But remember how I said I left the man I loved for a life of humble luxury in the village? I couldn't leave him. I just couldn't do it. I do- I seriously do love him. I put my entire freaking heart in his hands and I love him, so I ran back to see him over New Years. I'd never had a magical New Years moment- no story-worthy event that I felt I needed to document on the pages of this online diary. But that changed, at 12:01 AM on January 1st 2016.
Ty, that's his name. My boyfriend. We've been on and off for 9 months now. He's chased me as I've run away a dozen times. Blame my gypsy soul- but relationships have never been my forte. I'm amazing at leaving, but when it comes to staying I lack any ability at all. Over the last two weeks, though, he got me. He cemented his feet beside me.
I was always so addicted to this idea that if I got butterflies in my stomach when I kissed someone then 'they' were the one. Butterflies. Chemistry. That's what I needed. I never got that with, Ty, until this recent trip. The first kiss we shared when I walked back into his apartment (the one I'd lived with him in for two months) shot fireworks through me. Each kiss following that one got stronger and stronger. Something was changing, something was happening, my walls were caving in, and fuck it- I was falling in love with him.
I went to the bathroom at 11:45 PM on December 31st. We were in a crowded club in Anchorage called The Avenue. Music was blaring, drunks were dancing, and the line to the toilet was long. I peed as fast as I could and as they announced '2 minutes until the New Year!' over the music, I began pushing through people trying to get back to Ty. When I arrived at the spot where I'd left him- all I saw was my coat. I panicked. People began counting down. '10, 9- ' I dug into my coat pocket trying to find my phone. I desperately wanted him there, '8, 7' my phone couldn't turn on fast enough. Where the hell was he? '6, 5' I tried searching the crowd, and then looked back down to my phone- fumbling through my contacts in a drunken panic, '4, 3' I felt someone grab my shoulder and turn me around '2' it was Ty, with an equally as relieved look on his face. '1', he grabbed me, and pulled me in, and we didn't care that we kissed too long or too passionately or too drunkenly surrounded by the hundreds of other shouting people in the club. All we cared is that at the very start of 2016, we were together. And this was going to be our year.
Flash forward 2 hours later and somehow I was being drug onto stage at the strip club called Sin Rock and having my dress removed by stripper as Ty through $1 bills into the air. Fast forward another hour and we were drunkenly rolling around a hotel bed.
Fast forward 4 days, and I'm having cramps in my lower stomach. I have to pee constantly. I have a weird sensitivity to smells that I've never had before. And my appetite seems to have increased. Being with Ty and getting my New Years kiss? Yes- that's how I wanted 2016 to start. Possibly carrying his child after a week of drunken love making? This wasn't planned in the least...
Ty, that's his name. My boyfriend. We've been on and off for 9 months now. He's chased me as I've run away a dozen times. Blame my gypsy soul- but relationships have never been my forte. I'm amazing at leaving, but when it comes to staying I lack any ability at all. Over the last two weeks, though, he got me. He cemented his feet beside me.
I was always so addicted to this idea that if I got butterflies in my stomach when I kissed someone then 'they' were the one. Butterflies. Chemistry. That's what I needed. I never got that with, Ty, until this recent trip. The first kiss we shared when I walked back into his apartment (the one I'd lived with him in for two months) shot fireworks through me. Each kiss following that one got stronger and stronger. Something was changing, something was happening, my walls were caving in, and fuck it- I was falling in love with him.
I went to the bathroom at 11:45 PM on December 31st. We were in a crowded club in Anchorage called The Avenue. Music was blaring, drunks were dancing, and the line to the toilet was long. I peed as fast as I could and as they announced '2 minutes until the New Year!' over the music, I began pushing through people trying to get back to Ty. When I arrived at the spot where I'd left him- all I saw was my coat. I panicked. People began counting down. '10, 9- ' I dug into my coat pocket trying to find my phone. I desperately wanted him there, '8, 7' my phone couldn't turn on fast enough. Where the hell was he? '6, 5' I tried searching the crowd, and then looked back down to my phone- fumbling through my contacts in a drunken panic, '4, 3' I felt someone grab my shoulder and turn me around '2' it was Ty, with an equally as relieved look on his face. '1', he grabbed me, and pulled me in, and we didn't care that we kissed too long or too passionately or too drunkenly surrounded by the hundreds of other shouting people in the club. All we cared is that at the very start of 2016, we were together. And this was going to be our year.
Flash forward 2 hours later and somehow I was being drug onto stage at the strip club called Sin Rock and having my dress removed by stripper as Ty through $1 bills into the air. Fast forward another hour and we were drunkenly rolling around a hotel bed.
Fast forward 4 days, and I'm having cramps in my lower stomach. I have to pee constantly. I have a weird sensitivity to smells that I've never had before. And my appetite seems to have increased. Being with Ty and getting my New Years kiss? Yes- that's how I wanted 2016 to start. Possibly carrying his child after a week of drunken love making? This wasn't planned in the least...